For too long I’ve struggled with doubts. Not about God or Jesus. Or the Bible. But my relationship with the Lord, being one of His own. Am I a Christian or not? Or am I kidding myself, thinking and hoping I’m a child of God, when, well you know? Maybe you grapple with some of the same? I wouldn’t be surprised. But hopefully not.
Still, I must get over this, don’t you think? Can’t I, Lord? A light goes on for me as I read Psalm 46. Why not stop now and read it yourself? Did you? Whether you did or didn’t, let me add my two cents. It’s verse 10 that grabs my heart and mind–‘Be still, and know that I am God…’ (v. 10). Actually, I’m zeroing in on a fraction of that verse.
‘Be still…’ means to be quiet, to stop in your tracks, put your hands at your side and stop fighting. I could almost hear the Lord saying to me, ‘Shhh! Quiet! Be still!’ Stop wrestling with what I promise you. Believe me. Accept my love even as I do with all your faults and failures. So, calm down and let me lift you up, putting you back on track after you’ve stumbled into some dirty, dusty rut.
It’s so hard for me to accept what He promises. To relax in Him. To lead a normal Christian life. Why is that? I imagine it goes back to when I contracted polio and was removed from the suburban home my family had moved into the week before, to a strange town, in an unfamiliar place. Then rushed to a polio clinic in a large city hospital, not seeing any of my family for weeks on end (had they all died?), placed in isolation in a noisy polio ward filled with other crying, crippled children while given hot pack water treatments and exercises that must have felt like I was being tortured for something I’d done horribly wrong. At age two? What did I do? I must have concluded that life could turn terribly wrong at any moment for any old reason. Or none. Who knows?
So, the Lord wants me to hear Him saying, ‘Shhh! Quiet! Be still! In the face of any unknown, beastly, grim whatever–‘Shhh! Quiet! Be still!’ When I think about how far off the mark my life matches up to the holiness and righteousness of God, I hear Him saying, ‘Shhh! Quiet! Be still!’ Or how I’ve hurt others with my careless comments, hoping also that God will forgive me. He again whispers, ‘Shhh! Quiet! Be still!’ Or that I’ll never be worthy in any way, shape, or form to be in God’s paradise, heaven. ‘Shhh! Quiet! Be still!’
He says more. Verse 10 goes on–‘…and know that I am God.’ These promises are directly from the Lord. That Jesus’ love is nothing I can earn or deserve. It’s His gift. His grace and mercy wrap themselves around me, reassuring me that I do know Him. That nothing can rob me of God’s greatest gifts. And that more and better are sure to come. So, relax, already.
‘Shhh! Quiet!’ ‘Be still, and know that I am God’ (Ps.46:10).
Lord Jesus, I love you and thank you for always holding me close to you. Amen.
